Being Intentional With Friendships

Releasing a sigh of relief, we relaxed against the airplane seats. We had made it! Months of planning, excitement, and dodging obstacles of a winter storm, we were off on our girls trip. Heading south to warmer weather and sunny skies.

We had decided last fall that we needed a girls trip. We both love adventure and being single provides some advantages of flexible schedules. Not that you can’t travel when you’re married, but it requires a lot more planning and discussion between your spouse.

Our trip to Orlando consisted of a Luke Bryan concert, full day at Disney, a day in our Pj’s reading and collaborating on some upcoming projects, and great food and conversation.

Our day at Disney was so much fun! A highlight of the day was walking from different countries and experiencing the different cultures at Epcot. We decided to capture this experience by taking photos at each location with us wearing hats that represented the country we were in. This became such a fun game of which hat we were going to use and laughed at the ones we found.

In France, we stopped at a bakery that we had been told we must visit. We were not disappointed. Who knew a sandwich and dessert could taste so good. It was a wonderful day with perfect weather, not too crowded, and reminded us of magical places and dreaming big.

What do you and your friends do together for fun?

Maybe you’re in a season and having a hard time finding a time to hangout with your friends. Whether due to your busy schedules, newly married, or raising kids. Maybe you have forgotten how crucial it is to have quality time with your friends and have fun.

We have taken some time to answer some questions that we hope will encourage you and give you some ideas in helping you invest in your friendships.

1. How do you  keep up with your friends?

Brooke:

My friends will tell you I am a terrible phone friend.  It is actually one of my goals this year to be better at catching up with friends on the phone!  I do make it a point to text friends often to say hi or to send them some encouragement.  And I do love the old school way of communicating, sending letters or cards in the mail!  I think the important thing is just to be proactive in keeping up with your friends!  I love how with many of my friends it doesn't matter how long it has been since we have chatted we pick up right where we left off! 

Breeze:
Friends that are close by I usually see every week. We also will text each other throughout
the week. These people are who I go to for advice and share my days with. The friends that
don't live close, I have to make sure and be more intentional at having "phone dates" and

catch up with each other. I love to talk on the phone but I know several of my friends have
families and sometimes it's hard to coordinate a phone call. My goal this year is to be with friends more face to face.

2. What is something we can do when we are so busy to make room for fun with friends?

Brooke:

Be intentional!  As women we are always juggling lots of plates.  Whether you are in college, working, single or married, we tend to over commit ourselves which lead to friends being put on the back burner.  We must be intention in making time for friends, in order to foster those relationships.  Set weekly or monthly dates and put them immediately in your calendar.  Set phone dates or Facetime dates.

Breeze:
I agree with Brooke. Be intentional. Sometimes you need to plan ahead and set some fun get togethers. A group of my close friends and I have set Memorial Day weekend as a beach trip for the past 10 years or more. Now that school gets out later, we choose to go in June. It's something we all look forward to. It doesn't have to be a long trip somewhere. Plan a evening to paint or do pottery together at a local shop.

3. What are some of your favorite girls nights out for you and your friends?

Brooke:

I L.O.V.E girls nights!  One of my very best friends and I have a weekly girls night to watch one of our favorite TV shows together.  I go to her house in my pjs and we set up shop in her
girls playroom and watch Scandal. It is one of my favorite traditions.  I love grabbing coffee
or dinner with friends.  Going to concerts, movie nights, are other fun outings I love to share with my friends.  Weekend getaways are a great way to connect with friends and explore and enjoy new places.

Breeze:
I love evenings when we cuddle up in blankets on the couch and talk. Eat junk food and share each other's dreams. Sometimes it's Zaxby's and watching one of our favorite shows. I also love movies and popcorn.

4. How do you encourage your friend's dreams and goals?

Brooke:

I think it is so important to invest in your friends enough to really know what it is that makes them come alive.  It is such a great feeling to have people get excited about the things that we are passionate about.  On those girls night mentioned above, take some time to really listen to what your friends goals and dreams are.  Then help them move toward them.  Encourage them, look for ways to challenge them to move toward the things they love!  Partner with them in making their dreams come true!

Breeze:

I absolutely love hearing about my friends dreams and plans. I love getting to be a part of encouraging them with my words, help, or time to see their dreams come alive. I am not the friends who is able to give good steps and ways necessarily to get the goals achieved but I love to encourage a long the way and remind them to dream big and positive feedback.

We hope you will be encouraged to be intentional with your friendships. Tribes are 

important and need quality time.

Please check out Brooke's blog  Everyday Blessings and follow her on Instagram 

@friendbrooke.

Brooke resides in Hickory, NC but will always call Asheville, NC home.  She is a teacher who loves to travel, go to concerts and shop in her spare time.  Brooke is passionate about encouraging others through her blog, by sending cards and by making people smile!  

Where Dreams Come True

 I recently got to go to the "Happiest Place On Earth". You can feel the magic as you drive up to the entrance. I was giddy with excitement. From the parking attendants, security men checking our bags, and the cashiers their smiles were genuine and showed they were excited we were there. They made me feel like they had been expecting me. 

I was caught up in the details. The entrance with scanning our cards and fingerprints, the flower beds arranged with Mickey's silhouette, and the detailed buildings and atmosphere that transported us to a different country. No matter your age, this place makes you feel like your dreams could come true.

It all started with a mouse.

Walt Disney started with a dream. And years and years later, this dream is reaching millions of people in giving them a place to dream and believe in magic.

"All your dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them!"

                                                                            Walt Disney

That is my heart for She Dreams Ministry . That when women step out of their cars this Saturday for our women's event, they are met with volunteers who are excited they are here and have been expecting them. That through every song, session, and experience that they feel like their dreams can come true and see God's hand in every detail.

It all started with a feather.

A feather that represented a dream of a college graduate girl. A dream that she knew God had given her. Something only she could do.

I'm humbled and excited to watch my dream come alive. This Saturday women will gather together to be encouraged, equipped, and empowered to live and believe the dreams God has placed inside their hearts.

Dreams take courage!! Be a dreamer!!

When No isn't always something negative

No. Not yet. You're not ready.

Have you ever been told these words?

When it was your parents answer when you asked for candy, to spend the night with a friend, or when you wanted to practice driving the car before you got your permit.

Those may have seemed hard to hear at the time but they weren't devastating or life altering. 

But what do you do when it's your dream? Something you've been waiting a long time for. These words seem like an earth shattering echo over and over in your head!

NO!! No!!!

If you're like me, my mind processes these words in several stages.

Surprise. Hurt. Rejection. Failure.

I first usually get stubborn and do everything in MY own power to get my way. Pitching two year old fits if necessary. Then I run and hide and distance myself because I feel like a failure. 

But what if we could recognize the "No's" as protection from things we aren't aware of and save us from hurt and frustration.

Our parents knew candy was something our bodies didn't need. That we weren't developmentally ready to make decisions on driving or dating young.

God knows when we are ready for our dreams. In the waiting, He is equipping us for everything we will need. 

Let's take hope and not be afraid we will lose our dreams if the answer is no or not yet. He has something even better coming and He is never late.

Ephesians 3:20

He is able to do abundantly above all that we ask or ever could dream to ask.

Allowing Yourself A Time Out

Have you ever been in the middle of a huge decision and your brain won't stop screaming and chattering?

Which college should I pick? Should I buy this house? Is this a good investment? Is this church the place for me?

And if it's not enough that the questions you keep asking yourself overtake your head, suddenly your heart decides to get involved and joining the conversations.

What will my friends and family think? Will I let them down if I make the "wrong" decision? 

I recently went through this torture fight of back and forth questions. All I could hear was noise. I felt tense, overwhelmed, and no peace. I was trying to make the best decision and was struggling knowing what that was. I appreciated the wisdom and advice was given. But I also heard a lot of opinions.

What I needed was a time out!

Time to allow myself to process all I was feeling and wondering. I needed to find a place and time I could sit alone and hear nothing but God. 

It's ok to give yourself space. To allow the advice, wisdom, and opinions to quiet for a moment so that you can hear the only voice that matters. 

When I gave myself a time out, do you know what I found?

Peace. Encouragement. Courage.

Peace that passes all my understanding. Encouragement that I could and would make the best decision possible. Courage to do what I knew needed to be done.

The next time you are in a process that feels so overwhelming..... Take a time out.

It will do your heart and mind wonders!

3 Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day Single

Conversation hearts. Roses. Chocolates.

You know exactly what these all equal up to. Valentine’s Day.

For some of you this day of showing people you care how much you love them,  can bring joy and excitement. Plans of candlelit dinner, movie without the kids, or even a simple moment to share with your husband or significant other.

But for those of you single, this one day can be a day of feeling more lonely than any other day and a very easy day to feel insignificant or allow comparison to sneak in.

Why do I allow ONE day to change the way I feel about my life and feel less loved?

You’re Not Alone.

I have spent a lot of Valentine’s Days being Single. In fact, I probably could count on one hand the times I had a date or boyfriend on this day of Love. In the past I have allowed myself to envy those co-workers who had flowers sent to work, jealous of friends or sisters who had plans on this day and it left me at home alone.

The industry has over done the hallmark commercials, the pressure of needing flowers and chocolates  to feel loved and cherished.

We have the choice to get sucked in and made to feel we aren’t important and loved or use Valentine’s Day to bring us and others joy by doing something for ourselves and others.

3 ideas of how to spend Valentine’s Day

1.      Serve

When we turn the direction of our thoughts from ourselves to others, we are able to have a new perspective on our own circumstances and in most cases are able to be filled and blessed far more than we would have ever thought possible.

-         Offer to babysit for a friend, co-worker, or family member while they can go to dinner for a much needed time together.

-         Take valentine’s or homemade goodies to a local shelter, hospital, or place with people in need

2.    Plan a fun outing or host a party for your single friends

-         Showing hospitality in having friends over can make others feel special. It doesn’t take much but a few cute decorations, simple prepared food, and a fun movie or games.

-         Check for events with your local churches, community organizations, or venues that you could get a group together and enjoy.

3.    Do something for yourself

We forget that it’s important to take care of yourself. Find something that you enjoy and do it. Sometimes singles can be made to feel bad when choosing to do things that may appear to others as being selfish. Singleness can have it’s advantages when having a more flexible schedule, using your money how you want, and much more.

This Valentine’s Day, I’m choosing JOY!! My best friend and I are going to a local spa and having massages, pedicures, and facials. We are both so excited! 

How are you spending your Valentine’s Day this year? No matter how you are spending it, know you are worthy of Love, you matter to others, and you have lots of love to give to others.

Allow Yourself to Celebrate

Have you ever hit a milestone and you felt the need to celebrate? An anniversary, lose 10lbs, or a new job. Sometimes we make a personal goal, reach it, and have the desire to celebrate.

Sometimes we think our reason to celebrate May seem silly to others. That we don't really have a good enough reason to get out the balloons or confetti.

There is never too small a reason to celebrate.

This past weekend the She Dreams Ministry team/founders woke up early and met at a resort nearby for a special breakfast. There was no ballond, party hats, or even cake. But there was French toast, warm hearts, and a feeling of accomplishment and gratitude.

It was She Dreams Ministries one year birthday!!

The journey God had led us down this past year and did things through our ministry was far more beautiful than we ever imagined.

We wanted to celebrate together and so we did! We all have crazy schedules, families, and other obligations. We decided this was important to us and met around 7:30 that morning to have a few hours to be together before needing to get the day errands and things started.

She Dreams team (missing Kelly)

It doesn't matter the reason. You deserve a time to celebrate.

All you need is some close friends who get your vision, time marked out, and a way you want to celebrate.

Confetti. Balloons. A new outfit. French toast.

*i would love to see how your choosing to celebrate this year. Comment below or take a picture and post on Instagram. @Breezlei #celebratenow2015

How I learned to Let Go

Bring it out of the Darkness

My knuckles were white from holding on so tight. Tucking it away so no one could see it. If no one

ever knew, then I could pretend it never happened and move on. No one would ever look at me differently, know the crazy decisions I’ve made, and see what I felt.

Shame.

Why did hiding my Shame keep bothering me? If it’s been buried shouldn’t the “Out of sight, out of mind” come into place?

Shame. Hurt. Anger.

They played a loud game of tag in my mind. Racing and running around and they wouldn’t quit their game. They were winning and I was losing.

Loser.

Why do we convince ourselves that hiding the “Real” us will bring us comfort and joy?

“When He came there was no Light. When He left there was no darkness” Mark Batterson All in.

Have you ever wanted to keep something you have done or become hidden? A messy house, empty bank account, a lie you’ve told? Maybe it’s an addiction you have developed. Spending too much money, hours upon hours on social media, cheating, or something you can’t even speak of out loud.

We are convinced we are the only ones who have this “dark” spot in our lives and what in the world would people think if they knew the real you.

“When He Came there was no light. When He left there was no darkness.”

If we could confidently hold out our hands and unclasp our fingers to let go of the thing we are holding so close, God can shine His light on it and that’s when the healing begins.

We will find that no matter what we’ve done or become, God loves us. He loves us enough to not keep us where we are but to guide us towards a place of redemption, forgiveness, and peace.

Take the first step. Let’s count together.

1,2,3….

Now open your hands. Let go and Let God.

What I found when I let go was Grace!

Grace

When I sat down with some close friends and trusted them with my story, they were able to remind me I wasn't alone. We all have things we hide and try to bury. But when we allow God to hear our confession.... Healing begins.

Healing. Peace. Grace flooded every part of my body and overtook the shame and doubt.

It's worth it my friends to be brave in telling your story. Confess and healing.

What are you waiting for? Be free and fly!