Allowing Yourself A Time Out

Have you ever been in the middle of a huge decision and your brain won't stop screaming and chattering?

Which college should I pick? Should I buy this house? Is this a good investment? Is this church the place for me?

And if it's not enough that the questions you keep asking yourself overtake your head, suddenly your heart decides to get involved and joining the conversations.

What will my friends and family think? Will I let them down if I make the "wrong" decision? 

I recently went through this torture fight of back and forth questions. All I could hear was noise. I felt tense, overwhelmed, and no peace. I was trying to make the best decision and was struggling knowing what that was. I appreciated the wisdom and advice was given. But I also heard a lot of opinions.

What I needed was a time out!

Time to allow myself to process all I was feeling and wondering. I needed to find a place and time I could sit alone and hear nothing but God. 

It's ok to give yourself space. To allow the advice, wisdom, and opinions to quiet for a moment so that you can hear the only voice that matters. 

When I gave myself a time out, do you know what I found?

Peace. Encouragement. Courage.

Peace that passes all my understanding. Encouragement that I could and would make the best decision possible. Courage to do what I knew needed to be done.

The next time you are in a process that feels so overwhelming..... Take a time out.

It will do your heart and mind wonders!

3 Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day Single

Conversation hearts. Roses. Chocolates.

You know exactly what these all equal up to. Valentine’s Day.

For some of you this day of showing people you care how much you love them,  can bring joy and excitement. Plans of candlelit dinner, movie without the kids, or even a simple moment to share with your husband or significant other.

But for those of you single, this one day can be a day of feeling more lonely than any other day and a very easy day to feel insignificant or allow comparison to sneak in.

Why do I allow ONE day to change the way I feel about my life and feel less loved?

You’re Not Alone.

I have spent a lot of Valentine’s Days being Single. In fact, I probably could count on one hand the times I had a date or boyfriend on this day of Love. In the past I have allowed myself to envy those co-workers who had flowers sent to work, jealous of friends or sisters who had plans on this day and it left me at home alone.

The industry has over done the hallmark commercials, the pressure of needing flowers and chocolates  to feel loved and cherished.

We have the choice to get sucked in and made to feel we aren’t important and loved or use Valentine’s Day to bring us and others joy by doing something for ourselves and others.

3 ideas of how to spend Valentine’s Day

1.      Serve

When we turn the direction of our thoughts from ourselves to others, we are able to have a new perspective on our own circumstances and in most cases are able to be filled and blessed far more than we would have ever thought possible.

-         Offer to babysit for a friend, co-worker, or family member while they can go to dinner for a much needed time together.

-         Take valentine’s or homemade goodies to a local shelter, hospital, or place with people in need

2.    Plan a fun outing or host a party for your single friends

-         Showing hospitality in having friends over can make others feel special. It doesn’t take much but a few cute decorations, simple prepared food, and a fun movie or games.

-         Check for events with your local churches, community organizations, or venues that you could get a group together and enjoy.

3.    Do something for yourself

We forget that it’s important to take care of yourself. Find something that you enjoy and do it. Sometimes singles can be made to feel bad when choosing to do things that may appear to others as being selfish. Singleness can have it’s advantages when having a more flexible schedule, using your money how you want, and much more.

This Valentine’s Day, I’m choosing JOY!! My best friend and I are going to a local spa and having massages, pedicures, and facials. We are both so excited! 

How are you spending your Valentine’s Day this year? No matter how you are spending it, know you are worthy of Love, you matter to others, and you have lots of love to give to others.

Allow Yourself to Celebrate

Have you ever hit a milestone and you felt the need to celebrate? An anniversary, lose 10lbs, or a new job. Sometimes we make a personal goal, reach it, and have the desire to celebrate.

Sometimes we think our reason to celebrate May seem silly to others. That we don't really have a good enough reason to get out the balloons or confetti.

There is never too small a reason to celebrate.

This past weekend the She Dreams Ministry team/founders woke up early and met at a resort nearby for a special breakfast. There was no ballond, party hats, or even cake. But there was French toast, warm hearts, and a feeling of accomplishment and gratitude.

It was She Dreams Ministries one year birthday!!

The journey God had led us down this past year and did things through our ministry was far more beautiful than we ever imagined.

We wanted to celebrate together and so we did! We all have crazy schedules, families, and other obligations. We decided this was important to us and met around 7:30 that morning to have a few hours to be together before needing to get the day errands and things started.

She Dreams team (missing Kelly)

It doesn't matter the reason. You deserve a time to celebrate.

All you need is some close friends who get your vision, time marked out, and a way you want to celebrate.

Confetti. Balloons. A new outfit. French toast.

*i would love to see how your choosing to celebrate this year. Comment below or take a picture and post on Instagram. @Breezlei #celebratenow2015

How I learned to Let Go

Bring it out of the Darkness

My knuckles were white from holding on so tight. Tucking it away so no one could see it. If no one

ever knew, then I could pretend it never happened and move on. No one would ever look at me differently, know the crazy decisions I’ve made, and see what I felt.

Shame.

Why did hiding my Shame keep bothering me? If it’s been buried shouldn’t the “Out of sight, out of mind” come into place?

Shame. Hurt. Anger.

They played a loud game of tag in my mind. Racing and running around and they wouldn’t quit their game. They were winning and I was losing.

Loser.

Why do we convince ourselves that hiding the “Real” us will bring us comfort and joy?

“When He came there was no Light. When He left there was no darkness” Mark Batterson All in.

Have you ever wanted to keep something you have done or become hidden? A messy house, empty bank account, a lie you’ve told? Maybe it’s an addiction you have developed. Spending too much money, hours upon hours on social media, cheating, or something you can’t even speak of out loud.

We are convinced we are the only ones who have this “dark” spot in our lives and what in the world would people think if they knew the real you.

“When He Came there was no light. When He left there was no darkness.”

If we could confidently hold out our hands and unclasp our fingers to let go of the thing we are holding so close, God can shine His light on it and that’s when the healing begins.

We will find that no matter what we’ve done or become, God loves us. He loves us enough to not keep us where we are but to guide us towards a place of redemption, forgiveness, and peace.

Take the first step. Let’s count together.

1,2,3….

Now open your hands. Let go and Let God.

What I found when I let go was Grace!

Grace

When I sat down with some close friends and trusted them with my story, they were able to remind me I wasn't alone. We all have things we hide and try to bury. But when we allow God to hear our confession.... Healing begins.

Healing. Peace. Grace flooded every part of my body and overtook the shame and doubt.

It's worth it my friends to be brave in telling your story. Confess and healing.

What are you waiting for? Be free and fly!

Jealousy and Doubt

It suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks and washed over me like standing under a waterfall and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Jealousy 

Why is this happening to her and not me? My heart was tied to the string of a yo-yo. Back and forth it swayed. Happiness for my dear friend who had just announced she was engaged to swinging over to jealousy and doubt.

Doubt

Is something wrong with me? Why am I the only one who seems to still be single in a 20 foot radius of my group of friends.

Have you ever been riding along the journey of your life happy and free. Enjoying the season you're in and BAM!! Jealousy and doubt pop out of no where. 

Maybe it's when someone loses another 10 lbs and when you look in the mirror all you feel is that you found those 10 lbs. When a co-worker receives recognition for the work and effort you also do but has seemed to have been overlooked. Maybe it's another woman who has announced she's expecting and the loss of your unborn child or emptiness of not being able to conceive is still very raw.

Jealousy and doubt seem to go hand in hand. We want something someone else has and we start to doubt our worth, story, and God.

Three things I'm learning to do when those 
two words try to surface:

1. Recognize and admit: 
The hardest part is admitting to yourself that you're feeling jealous and doubt. Especially doubting God. What I'm learning is you can't move forward until you deal and process your feelings.

2. Find that friend:
One you trust to share what your dealing with. Be honest. They will understand and be able to be a listener as you process out loud your feelings.

3. Everyone needs an outlet:
Maybe it's running, painting, or something you enjoy. 
Writing has become a tool for me to get my thoughts on paper and reflect on things I'm learning. Find your outlet.

Jealousy and doubt are easy targets that will distract us from God's love and His plan for 
us. Let's help fight together to protect our hearts and stories.

 Please watch this video and near the end, allow John Piper encourage you!  

"Therefore, do not lose heart!"

Shane and Shane "Though You Slay Me"

Hide and Seek

So there I was laying on my worn red couch, bundled head to toe in blankets. You could only see the form of my body. I was hiding. Not from the cold wind that was pressing against the house and howling. I was hiding from my failures. Here it was just January 2nd and I already felt defeated.

A failure. 

2015 was laughing at me and punching me in the gut. The blanket hid my eyes to the mountain of laundry, unwashed dishes, unused exercise equipment, an empty wallet, and a blank piece of paper that taunted me with its bareness of words and a power of fear that held me under the blanket.

Under the blanket I felt paralyzed. My goals I had started working on for the new year seemed like giants looking down at me and I had run and hide. 

Have you ever been fearful to start something that you never begin?

Maybe for you it's wanting to start a new job, go back to school, lose weight, write a book, overcome your finances, or buying a new house.

It seems so scary and all you can do is run and hide because the feeling of failure isn't something we want to taste often.

As I lay under those blankets and all I could hear was the wind beating down.... Suddenly everything got quiet... Still. These words started flowing through my head and heart.

"I did not give you a spirit of fear. But of power, love, and a sound mind!"

The tears began to flow! Peace filled my whole body. 

I wasn't a failure. I am a woman full of power, love, and of sound mind. A mind that can conquer a blank sheet of paper and a mountain of laundry.

Let's not give up. Don't hide. Run towards Him, lean into His arms, and say "yes", YES to His dreams for your life! One step at a time. 

                             Photo credit: Chris Tomlin

Silent Night During the Chaos

This past weekend was one of the busiest I've had in a long time. Two weddings, a very quick trip out of town to give a talk, church, and several other things crammed into two days. I wasn't so sure I would make it through as I started Friday, but I did.

Sunday evening I had a wonderful experience of hearing God lead me and show me some details He wanted for our upcoming women's event. It wasn't an audible voice but just a feeling. I knew the thoughts going through my head wasn't me. There were moments that flashed back from the chaotic weekend and I could see Gods fingerprint through several moments.

How can God speak so clearly even in the midst of chaos and noise!

"Silent night, holy night! All is calm, all is bright!"

I couldn't help but think about this song. During this season of advent and the expectation and waiting of the celebration of Jesus' birth, I'm sure that there was chaos and noise in the lives of people in Bethlehem. People traveling to be taxed, their daily jobs and tasks. 

But that night God was able to send His son that would change lives for an eternity.

Am I looking for God in the chaos and silence of my day? I know that I sure don't want to miss out on what He wants to share with me.

Let's spend this Christmas season getting wrapped up in His love and wisdom than the gifts we buy. May we be able hear His soft whisper.